Life Under The Tree

Well, though the title of the story signifies something very glossy and green, but in real it's not so. Life under the tree is my present address(temporary). No...NO...don't get jerked down, don't feel jolted....what I mean to say is, underneath the tree is my shelter from 9.00 am to 10: 30 am.( which will linger to 11.15 a.m later). Didn't understood still? Oh my good readers nowadays I go along with my son in school in a pool car and pass my idle time under the tree in road-side. Must be wondering about my life-style. Please don't this is the story of most of the mothers in big-shot, hi-fi schools , irrespective of classes , who doesn't have any other option other than to spent time in roadside , convenient location, till the class gets terminated.
Often while I chat and talk with other mothers, I question myself that what am I doing? I know I am not the only one in the cluster but still the thought haunts me. I could have stay at home and finished one more chapter of my English Text Book but no I have spent the hard earned time under the tree chatting with my fellow mates. The people with whom I am acquainted with the similar minded but I witness lots of people, weared attittudes, luxury of words of these people and what not. I concluded, this is also an welcoming experience and taking out the rheumy part out of it I should make a point to learn something . And Till date what I learned is to keep my-ownself grounded in my principles and ethics and welcome all gossips with a smile then forget it in a moment without ever daring to concentrate on them. My husband terms those infectious so BEAWARE.

REASONS TO BE HAPPY AT 30s

While I was in my teens and 20s, I keenly observed the effort- my mother and aunties , gave for getting themselves ready for any occasion. Though that effort was nothing compared to the one we put in while we dress up for a get-together or so, but still I wondered why they were taking so much pain to choose an appropriate saari, a matching bindi or likewise accessories. All these thoughts scribbled in my mind because they were in their mid- 30s( for me then, pretty old) and I was teen queen. OOOO…I was soooo ..wrong, AHHH….ABSOLUTELY WRONG!!

Now when I have stepped in my 30s , I find a whole new world in front of me, smiling and gratifying. So much to explore. So I took the pain to jot down the reasons of “Why 30s are better than 20s”

1. 30s gifted me patience:
Impatience, Anxiousness are two components which dominates teens and 20s. This was the phase when appearance of two pimples simultaneously was enough to crack up my head. But in my 30s I find it much easier to let go of things and try to keep myself cool and composite in most difficult time. It is the maturity level which has taken the shape of a full grown lady and thus let me experience the beauty of it. I learned to accept the fact that everything is pre-destined and there is absolutely no reason to indulge in any abstract, distorted facts which worries you.

2. Better understanding of my demands:
Believe me, I spent 30 long years to understand my own requirements, what do I want, what is my limitations? I know its pretty long time but better late than never. Be it on any relationship’s demand or my personal demand I can speak my mind now. Many a times I spent sleepless nights about thinking how to put forward my views in a pleasing way so that it doesn’t hurt anybody. But now I conclude I cannot , as a human being please each and everybody, every time. I definitely adjust compromise frequently but not EVERYTIME. Moreover after my baby I was very confused of my identity, ‘what am I doing ’ , this thought disturbed me a lot. Whenever I saw my colleagues , friends and loved ones balancing their family and career simultaneously, a sense of incompetence haunted me. Then I analyzed logically that what I want, is it career or self identity, I concluded with the latter one. Self –Identity .And the best way to achieve the same is through education. Thus I pursued back studies, this time with no mental pressure of achieving something, now study is more a relaxation than a duty.

3. Accpeting own self:

Unlike 20s when I often tried to improvise on my looks and talks, I am now smart enough on my looks and talks. I accept the fact very happily that I am not perfect and no one of us is perfect but obviously we can walk towards it. In my 30s I am more honest and open to healthy self –depreciation.

4. Now- more structured and organized.

The years I came across made me more strong and confident inside. Certain bad news, shocks or unforeseen events do not shatter me down easily. I have seen the worst thus ready to face the bad. That doesn’t mean it’s very welcoming but what I want to say is a bad blow of fate cannot disorganize me , I can again stand firm and re-build them.

There are many reasons to be a proud 30 lady, I welcome d 30 whole heartedly. It has made me a more matured , confident and organized woman. I celebrate womanhood everyday and I celebrate for each one of you who has turned 30 and steadily juggling between varied relationships maintaining their won IDENTITY. So “JAI HO 30s”.

From the Lap of Mother...

My son is 3 years , 3 months now and this is the first time in his three summers that he has leaped out from the cozy-cuddly lap of mine into the greater , outer world.. This is surely not very welcoming for him---I understand. And I too rationalize my thought by thinking, through tears He would learn to smile.
The very first day in his school was 22nd April’09, Wednesday, he prepared himself with lots of enthuse and potential to go to school. But….but….the moment he landed in front of the school gate, ooooo…….the sight of so many people, the gathering, noise and most importantly the reaction(tears) of other children made him paranoid and insecure. I remember the moment when he is being taken from me from the other side of the rope , I must admit it was very painful, witnessing my son crying ‘ma’, ‘ma’ and you’re not even allowed to stand and console little bit. When, after one and a half hour I went to pick him up from the line I saw him still crying and drenched in sweat and tears. Believe me my heart ached, ached to feel his pain but I didn’t expose myself in front of anyone other than my blog. As I know this me, my blog is me, and I feel no shame in sharing my feelings here. I felt myself the most cruel mother on earth and kept on comforting my little one. After diong my best to make him feel good , I started him preparing for the next day. This is life, you see. It is a never ending process where we have to go on and on and the show never ends.
But whatsoever I do , I say today’s weather forecast is ., still the sky is very cloudy and tear drops are continuing. GOD HELP ME PLEASE!!

Matritter Tane !!

Hothat Dekhi Chokh Khule, Natun Bhor Geche Khule,
Natun Sakal, Natun Jagat Samne Ache Daraye,
Sato, Sato Rakto Kana Chutche Mor Siraye Siraye,
Janan Dicche Upasthiti Chottto Duti Hat Baraye.

Asar Tar Boddo Tara, Jaye na Chona, Jaye Na Dhora,
Anubhab kori Bataser Moto, 'Moments' Gulo Jacche Druto,
Barche She, Egocchi Aami, Lokkho Kore Sthir,
Jeno Ek Chotto Nouko Egocche Samudra Tir.

Booke niye Anek Asha, Biliye Dite Bhalobasha,
Asche Chotto Pa Fele, Dakbe Amaye MA Bole,
Anek Path Holo Chala, Sab Katha Jabe Na bola.

Meye Theke Stri, Tarpor Bouma-
Ebar Matritter Tane Sara Dilam,
Natun Dayitto Tule Nilam,
Nijer Astitto Diye Dharaye,
Dharitri Chere Jabo Haraye.

To, Dadabhai, With Love.

Suru korilam Banerjee Barir Fordo , Niye Tarr Naam
Dr.G.Banerjee Naam Tar, Kadamtalye Dhaam,
Panch Putro , char kannya niye bhora sansar
Matir manush chilo amader Dadabhai- dactar;

Santo- gambhir roop jar , Shei—E Debdas
Prothom putro Dactar babur, Reserve Baromas!!

Ditio putro Dijodas , nirbikar akar,
Thake sakoler moddhe satantro niye misti gofe-r bhar..

Ebare holo Monu-r pala, Biprodas naam,
Akare choto holeo, Hunkar durbaaar.

Shyama jar Gayer rang , naam-o O tar Shyama,
Baro bhalo manus chilo sabai-er ta jana..

Ebar sabche choto-r pala,
Du-char kathaye take jabe na bola,
Choto chele Dactar babu-r , akarshan durbar,
Boro-Boudi-r boddo prio , chotto ei Debar.

Char Kannya-r prothom Gita, Mejo holo Maya,
Dipti- Tripti mile ekakar hoye EK deho-chaya.

Boro bouma dactar babu-r, madhurjomayee aar data,
Kum-Kum naam tar- dui kannay-r mata,

Kum, holo mejo bouma, chip chipe garon,
Hashi-thatta , halka mejaj katha bolen darun

Ardhangini , Tumi jaar, naam tar biprodas,
Sahansilota aar Sajjo sakti tomate kore abas.

Choto bouma misti bhari naam tar rita,
Sundor manus tini, bhari parimeeta.

Nati—natnir katha bhebe sahas hoye na egote ,
Kabita amar phuriye jabe parichoye tahader dite,
18 jon Nati-Natni, kam katha noye,
Tai boli dactar babu khama koro amaye,
Tabe moder kache tumi aj-o prio DADABHAI,
Pran bhore amra sabai pronam tomake janai.

MARRIAGE- An Institution

Today while on a conversation with one of my dear friend- I informed her that I just came back from a trip to Digha with my in-laws and my own family members. She was utmost surprised to know that I patched up both the families together and get them go with me for the tour. She asked how did I manage two different families together with various mentalities and varying demands. After the telephonic conversation was over I went little deep into the fact of balancing. I wondered a bit. Really, how did I manage to balance so many relationships for 5 years now, and that too being a single child?
Well, Then I said to myself that it was not a very tough job, rather it is a very symbiotic arrangement. It is very important to have a string of respect within every relationship and that very feeling gets reciprocated in the same manner. And I follow this rule very strongly. Moreover I never forget that my mother in-law is the MOTHER of the family, it’s not that I want to get dominated or so but giving the motherly space let her have faith on me. I am married for 5 years now and for the first 2 years I accepted each and every rule of the family happily, then when a bond of trust and faith grew between my in-laws and me I tried to modify some rules and facts to my benefit. Obviously without hurting anybodies sentiment and respecting the family values.
The cohesiveness even grows firm if one can stay cool in most unwanted situation. Accept, that you won’t get appreciated for every effort, this sounds very easy but I found it very difficult when after preparing a good recipe, with full energy and hard work I recognized that people for whom I gave away my time and energy did not like it. This is just one example. I learned from my husband to expect less or no. He taught me to do my duty without any expectation and though it was difficult in the beginning but with time I too believed that expecting less brings lots of happiness. Hence I learned to handle tricky situations involving delicate relationships. I learned to digest along with my dinner those little disturbing facts of the day , which if remembered, will cause indigestion.
Often misunderstandings are prevented by having a face to face talk, and I found it quite beneficial. Though we women do not leave the opportunity to talk about our in-law’s fault to our dear husbands and I too was not an exception but I noticed this only helps to enrich the ridge between us. On the other hand it is very comforting when I faced those situation myself, instead of pouring my grievances in a pair of deaf ears.
Blowing my own trumpet only, would be an injustice on other’s part and I would definitely like to mention here the support I received from my in-laws. In spite of being a very rigid and conservative family they always allowed me to do whatever I feel like. My in-laws were never been a hindrance in my growth in any sphere, they never interfere in my way of dealing life though I too respected the family values. So you see ,as I mentioned before it is a symbiotic arrangement.
And last but not the least I always believe having a meal together keeps a family together. I found it very effective, we too share our joys, sorrows, personal grudges in the dining arena. That dining space holds a special significance in my life with which I associate the growth and the well-being of the family.
All these and more made me conclude that MARRIAGE IS AN INSTITUTION INITSELF. Here nobody is your teacher, it is the relationships you are in that drive you to deal with different situations.

A Veg Delight!!

I always crack up my head when it comes to Thursday and Saturday cooking menu. Why? Because those are the two days when my family members do not eat non-veg.. Non-veg items on Thursdays and Saturdays are strict no no in our family. And I think you will agree with me that giving variety veg items is a tough job.So I went through some cooking books and modified a bit and prepared SHAHI DAL , well its liked and appreciated whole heartedly by all. So here it is :

Ingredients : 1. Cholar Dal- 1 cup(Chana)
2. Moog Dal- ½ cup
3. Turmeric Powder-1/2 tea sp.
4.Red-Chilli Powder- ½ tea Sp.
5.Salt and sugar according to the taste.
6. Raisins – ½ cup
7.Pure Ghee/ Buter- 3 Tea sp.
8. White Oil- according to the requirement.
9. Paneer – 100 Gm.
10.Chopped Coriander – 2 tea sp.
11. Ginger Paste – 1 tea sp.
12.Chopped Green Chilli- ½ Tea Sp.
13.Roasted Cumin Powder-1/2 tea sp.
14.Powder of Cinnamon and Cardamom(Garam Masala)
15.Chopped Tomatoes – ½ cup

Recipe : Cut the Paneer into small pieces and fry them in white oil until it turns brown. Then add Cinnamon and Cardamom(not powder) in oil followed by chopped tomatoes ginger paste, turmeric powder salt, sugar, red chilli powder . Fry it for some time then add the fried paneer and boiled Cholar dal and Moog Dal , add some water in it. Let it cook for some time then add the green chilli, ghee/butter, raisins . Put the flame off and add chopped coriander, roasted cumin powder and Powder of Cinnamon and Cardamom.
Your SHAHI DAL is ready to serve.
Eat it with Paratha or Luchi.