I want to go back to the time when, “ Getting High” meant “On a Swing”, when “Drinking “ meant “ Juice” , when “ Dad “ was the only “Hero” , When “ Love” was “Mum’s Hug” , when “ Dad’s Shoulder” was the “ Highest Place on Earth”, when your “Worst enemies” were your “ Siblings” , when the only “ Broken” were your” Toys” and when “ Goodbye” only meant “till tomorrow”. I read this note somewhere and it really touched my nerves and inner soul, so much that I took an analytical journey of myself. It is sometime very important for me to just talk to myself , it gives me a better understanding of myself .
When “Getting High “ meant “ On a swing” ----Oh! Happy Days why did you hide “yourself” so to only make us run behind money, status, assets and what not. I do not say these are not important in life , Yes it is but it ceases from us the ability to get happy at little things happening around us. Getting High have no limits , we race against ourselves so to attain a comfortable life . Oops! Did I say COMFORTABLE? Do I really mean it? My Husband gets up at eight O Clock in the morning and after that he could not manage a penny time to sit and relax until he goes for bed late night. This is because he is involved with Service, Bussiness ,Share , etc. ----all these for a comfortable life. “COMFORTABLE ?”
Life itself has set some goals for us and we run to attain the same, the day we achieve the same, some new target get set for us. This is Life for us. I really miss the life when Dad was my only Hero. Though Dad is still my Hero and I am proud to have a Father like Him beside me , who, in every critical stages of life ushered his warmth on me and comforted me in every way. But I miss him when I get jolted down by the hard punches of life – I miss my hero , I miss those hands who used to hold my hand firmly at the time of crisis and supported me. Now at the time of difficulties what I do to compensate his absence is just close my eyes and think what we could have advised me if he would have been with me.
Life is an ongoing process and we are just puppets tied with an invisible string , when Mum’s Hug was the only source of love and warmth for us – that was the time when love was a simple sum of 2 + 2 = 4 and now I find it a complex mathematical equation. But though maths , if worked out correctly have an happy ending i.e. it gets solved out but love have no simple solution. Love contains in itself so many relations, so many expectations and demands and it is next to impossible to meet up all those every time and when you fail------LOVE is at “?” Once rising high for me was mounting up on the shoulder of my father and have a glance of the down ward world. It was a time of triumph and joy and made my heart leap with delight. . Though rising high never meant achieving materialistic comforts but also it is not so simple as then , I never wanted to be an empire builder but in a way always satisfied as a self reliant , honest individual . It makes me happy to think that I am blessed with the ability to make my family members happy, I am satisfied to attain that height where I could take the responsibility of my husband, son and my in-laws. Height for me was never to see my pockets full of money but to maintain my own life in a peaceful manner which revolves around my family members, my education, my travelling mania and maintaining healthy – steady relationships with some very good friends.
I really wonder at the word “ Goodbye” – when goodbye was till tomorrow then also it was so painful. Painful , when I had first crush in my school days , painful when I first fell in love, painful when finally understood what is love and found the same ---everytime “ goodbye” made me impatient and anxious to see the next day sun. But now at my 30s GOODBYE have a broader meaning, now goodbye means my hero will never meet me again other than in dreams , now goodbye means patient waiting of soulful showering of tears within my eyes to see my father for once. Goodbye now is for ever.
CHILDHOOD is a gift of ALMIGHTY to us, full of splendour, benevolence, adventures and curious turns and curves which prepares us day by day to face a new phase of life in future. I cherish those left out moments and say to myself OH! GOD make my wish true, let me once more travel back in time.
