MARRIAGE- An Institution

Today while on a conversation with one of my dear friend- I informed her that I just came back from a trip to Digha with my in-laws and my own family members. She was utmost surprised to know that I patched up both the families together and get them go with me for the tour. She asked how did I manage two different families together with various mentalities and varying demands. After the telephonic conversation was over I went little deep into the fact of balancing. I wondered a bit. Really, how did I manage to balance so many relationships for 5 years now, and that too being a single child?
Well, Then I said to myself that it was not a very tough job, rather it is a very symbiotic arrangement. It is very important to have a string of respect within every relationship and that very feeling gets reciprocated in the same manner. And I follow this rule very strongly. Moreover I never forget that my mother in-law is the MOTHER of the family, it’s not that I want to get dominated or so but giving the motherly space let her have faith on me. I am married for 5 years now and for the first 2 years I accepted each and every rule of the family happily, then when a bond of trust and faith grew between my in-laws and me I tried to modify some rules and facts to my benefit. Obviously without hurting anybodies sentiment and respecting the family values.
The cohesiveness even grows firm if one can stay cool in most unwanted situation. Accept, that you won’t get appreciated for every effort, this sounds very easy but I found it very difficult when after preparing a good recipe, with full energy and hard work I recognized that people for whom I gave away my time and energy did not like it. This is just one example. I learned from my husband to expect less or no. He taught me to do my duty without any expectation and though it was difficult in the beginning but with time I too believed that expecting less brings lots of happiness. Hence I learned to handle tricky situations involving delicate relationships. I learned to digest along with my dinner those little disturbing facts of the day , which if remembered, will cause indigestion.
Often misunderstandings are prevented by having a face to face talk, and I found it quite beneficial. Though we women do not leave the opportunity to talk about our in-law’s fault to our dear husbands and I too was not an exception but I noticed this only helps to enrich the ridge between us. On the other hand it is very comforting when I faced those situation myself, instead of pouring my grievances in a pair of deaf ears.
Blowing my own trumpet only, would be an injustice on other’s part and I would definitely like to mention here the support I received from my in-laws. In spite of being a very rigid and conservative family they always allowed me to do whatever I feel like. My in-laws were never been a hindrance in my growth in any sphere, they never interfere in my way of dealing life though I too respected the family values. So you see ,as I mentioned before it is a symbiotic arrangement.
And last but not the least I always believe having a meal together keeps a family together. I found it very effective, we too share our joys, sorrows, personal grudges in the dining arena. That dining space holds a special significance in my life with which I associate the growth and the well-being of the family.
All these and more made me conclude that MARRIAGE IS AN INSTITUTION INITSELF. Here nobody is your teacher, it is the relationships you are in that drive you to deal with different situations.