Today while on a conversation with one of my dear friend- I informed her that I just came back from a trip to Digha with my in-laws and my own family members. She was utmost surprised to know that I patched up both the families together and get them go with me for the tour. She asked how did I manage two different families together with various mentalities and varying demands. After the telephonic conversation was over I went little deep into the fact of balancing. I wondered a bit. Really, how did I manage to balance so many relationships for 5 years now, and that too being a single child?
Well, Then I said to myself that it was not a very tough job, rather it is a very symbiotic arrangement. It is very important to have a string of respect within every relationship and that very feeling gets reciprocated in the same manner. And I follow this rule very strongly. Moreover I never forget that my mother in-law is the MOTHER of the family, it’s not that I want to get dominated or so but giving the motherly space let her have faith on me. I am married for 5 years now and for the first 2 years I accepted each and every rule of the family happily, then when a bond of trust and faith grew between my in-laws and me I tried to modify some rules and facts to my benefit. Obviously without hurting anybodies sentiment and respecting the family values.
The cohesiveness even grows firm if one can stay cool in most unwanted situation. Accept, that you won’t get appreciated for every effort, this sounds very easy but I found it very difficult when after preparing a good recipe, with full energy and hard work I recognized that people for whom I gave away my time and energy did not like it. This is just one example. I learned from my husband to expect less or no. He taught me to do my duty without any expectation and though it was difficult in the beginning but with time I too believed that expecting less brings lots of happiness. Hence I learned to handle tricky situations involving delicate relationships. I learned to digest along with my dinner those little disturbing facts of the day , which if remembered, will cause indigestion.
Often misunderstandings are prevented by having a face to face talk, and I found it quite beneficial. Though we women do not leave the opportunity to talk about our in-law’s fault to our dear husbands and I too was not an exception but I noticed this only helps to enrich the ridge between us. On the other hand it is very comforting when I faced those situation myself, instead of pouring my grievances in a pair of deaf ears.
Blowing my own trumpet only, would be an injustice on other’s part and I would definitely like to mention here the support I received from my in-laws. In spite of being a very rigid and conservative family they always allowed me to do whatever I feel like. My in-laws were never been a hindrance in my growth in any sphere, they never interfere in my way of dealing life though I too respected the family values. So you see ,as I mentioned before it is a symbiotic arrangement.
And last but not the least I always believe having a meal together keeps a family together. I found it very effective, we too share our joys, sorrows, personal grudges in the dining arena. That dining space holds a special significance in my life with which I associate the growth and the well-being of the family.
All these and more made me conclude that MARRIAGE IS AN INSTITUTION INITSELF. Here nobody is your teacher, it is the relationships you are in that drive you to deal with different situations.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Friday, March 27, 2009
A Veg Delight!!
I always crack up my head when it comes to Thursday and Saturday cooking menu. Why? Because those are the two days when my family members do not eat non-veg.. Non-veg items on Thursdays and Saturdays are strict no no in our family. And I think you will agree with me that giving variety veg items is a tough job.So I went through some cooking books and modified a bit and prepared SHAHI DAL , well its liked and appreciated whole heartedly by all. So here it is :
Ingredients : 1. Cholar Dal- 1 cup(Chana)
2. Moog Dal- ½ cup
3. Turmeric Powder-1/2 tea sp.
4.Red-Chilli Powder- ½ tea Sp.
5.Salt and sugar according to the taste.
6. Raisins – ½ cup
7.Pure Ghee/ Buter- 3 Tea sp.
8. White Oil- according to the requirement.
9. Paneer – 100 Gm.
10.Chopped Coriander – 2 tea sp.
11. Ginger Paste – 1 tea sp.
12.Chopped Green Chilli- ½ Tea Sp.
13.Roasted Cumin Powder-1/2 tea sp.
14.Powder of Cinnamon and Cardamom(Garam Masala)
15.Chopped Tomatoes – ½ cup
Recipe : Cut the Paneer into small pieces and fry them in white oil until it turns brown. Then add Cinnamon and Cardamom(not powder) in oil followed by chopped tomatoes ginger paste, turmeric powder salt, sugar, red chilli powder . Fry it for some time then add the fried paneer and boiled Cholar dal and Moog Dal , add some water in it. Let it cook for some time then add the green chilli, ghee/butter, raisins . Put the flame off and add chopped coriander, roasted cumin powder and Powder of Cinnamon and Cardamom.
Your SHAHI DAL is ready to serve.
Eat it with Paratha or Luchi.
Ingredients : 1. Cholar Dal- 1 cup(Chana)
2. Moog Dal- ½ cup
3. Turmeric Powder-1/2 tea sp.
4.Red-Chilli Powder- ½ tea Sp.
5.Salt and sugar according to the taste.
6. Raisins – ½ cup
7.Pure Ghee/ Buter- 3 Tea sp.
8. White Oil- according to the requirement.
9. Paneer – 100 Gm.
10.Chopped Coriander – 2 tea sp.
11. Ginger Paste – 1 tea sp.
12.Chopped Green Chilli- ½ Tea Sp.
13.Roasted Cumin Powder-1/2 tea sp.
14.Powder of Cinnamon and Cardamom(Garam Masala)
15.Chopped Tomatoes – ½ cup
Recipe : Cut the Paneer into small pieces and fry them in white oil until it turns brown. Then add Cinnamon and Cardamom(not powder) in oil followed by chopped tomatoes ginger paste, turmeric powder salt, sugar, red chilli powder . Fry it for some time then add the fried paneer and boiled Cholar dal and Moog Dal , add some water in it. Let it cook for some time then add the green chilli, ghee/butter, raisins . Put the flame off and add chopped coriander, roasted cumin powder and Powder of Cinnamon and Cardamom.
Your SHAHI DAL is ready to serve.
Eat it with Paratha or Luchi.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
DON'T MIND!
Today morning while on a conversation with my Husband I said “ Don’t Mind” followed by an unpleasant statement . He didn’t say a word but left the place. I too didn’t elongate the matter and quietly slipped into my kitchen, the place where I often get me-time and do lots of permutation-combination.
While cleaning up my kitchen , I kept on asking myself , why did I say “Don’t mind” when I knew my later expressions would not be very pleasing to him. I will tell you what; I was rude and harsh. Actually I recognized that to make the statement more intensified I used “ Don’t mind”, so that before listening to my ultimate notes he sits straight and get conscious .
I said, kitchen is a place for me where I do lots of permutation-combination exercises. I tried to visualize the fact in a more elaborate canvas You see the expression “ Darkness Visible”(from Milton’s Paradise Lost) is a figure of speech where opposites “darkness” and “visibility” are brought together for a greater effect. Similarly the word “ Don’t mind” followed by a non-welcoming statement pricks like a shrill , sharp thorn in the heart of the listener. I really fail to understand what self –satisfaction I/we achieve by tickling other’s sentiment but often I/we do so. And it is nothing but the sick part of our mind which allows us to react like this. After analyzing all the fact , I felt very sad from within, sad to think that I too am the part of this stale game. I too could not glorify myself by making myself free from this word “Don’t Mind” followed by an irritating statement.
I do not say this is the obvious use of the word , we can make it use in a better way also .Must there be conflict between truly better self and own self , thus I/we need to improvise our own self and try to be a better person.
So before using the word “Don’t Mind”, think twice…….hey..don’t mind for the advise..ha..ha..
While cleaning up my kitchen , I kept on asking myself , why did I say “Don’t mind” when I knew my later expressions would not be very pleasing to him. I will tell you what; I was rude and harsh. Actually I recognized that to make the statement more intensified I used “ Don’t mind”, so that before listening to my ultimate notes he sits straight and get conscious .
I said, kitchen is a place for me where I do lots of permutation-combination exercises. I tried to visualize the fact in a more elaborate canvas You see the expression “ Darkness Visible”(from Milton’s Paradise Lost) is a figure of speech where opposites “darkness” and “visibility” are brought together for a greater effect. Similarly the word “ Don’t mind” followed by a non-welcoming statement pricks like a shrill , sharp thorn in the heart of the listener. I really fail to understand what self –satisfaction I/we achieve by tickling other’s sentiment but often I/we do so. And it is nothing but the sick part of our mind which allows us to react like this. After analyzing all the fact , I felt very sad from within, sad to think that I too am the part of this stale game. I too could not glorify myself by making myself free from this word “Don’t Mind” followed by an irritating statement.
I do not say this is the obvious use of the word , we can make it use in a better way also .Must there be conflict between truly better self and own self , thus I/we need to improvise our own self and try to be a better person.
So before using the word “Don’t Mind”, think twice…….hey..don’t mind for the advise..ha..ha..
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Learning Process
How often , I wondered were my carefully laid plans going to be shattered by the superior force of circumstances.Whether you call it fate or supreme power , that is the ultimate decision maker of our life . I do not say whatever we plan or decide is destined to shatter down but it often happens with all of us that it get fulfilled when you don't expect it to occur. Once I heard from a nobel lady that if a ripple of thought arises in our heart and mind then it will happen sooner or later be it good or bad, as it has its own timing to happen but we the little creature of the Almighty God become restless and thinks that our dream is painted white.
So, i concluded life is full of experiences, good and bad but when i came across some of the worst of it I also passed the golden ring of life as I kept on turning on the pages of the books written by some of the holy people of earth tob regain my inner strength . Those books made me feel, like gold is beaten in fire to make it pure thus my life is made to pass across bad pahase of it ,only to make it more strong and rich.And It gave me immense satisfaction to think that God gives these so-called bad days because He loves us, He actually want us to go through the rough & tough road only to make us pure . He want us to lean toward Him and know the truth of life.
The Holy mother says, whenever you are in trouble distress , just say to yourself " I have a mother". Just murmering this sentence "I have a mother to take care of everything" boost my innerself. Our mind is like a mad elephant , it rushes with the wind . and whenver I feel my mind stirred by undesirable thoughts and yet I want to calm myself , I pray to Him earnestly . He purifies the then disturbed mind and solve my doubts. It happens with me very often .
I stay in a joint family and thus has to adjust with minor discontenment frequently , though some times I see fault in others but then again a preaching of the Holy mother makes me feel ease with the situation. She says when our mind is stale then only we keep on fining faults with others and first result of this is our own mind gets polluted. When does anyone become happy with finding faults with others ? It only results is creating lots of unpleasant stories at the back of our mind.And thus to regain peace of mind I gave up fault -finding , surely I will not deny with the fact that this inbuild habit of human being keeps on peeping time and gain.
Learning from the preaching of holy people is an experience in itself and it is very sad enough to acknowledge that it often happen when we cross the tiring moments of life. This is a process in it-self. A learning process.
So, i concluded life is full of experiences, good and bad but when i came across some of the worst of it I also passed the golden ring of life as I kept on turning on the pages of the books written by some of the holy people of earth tob regain my inner strength . Those books made me feel, like gold is beaten in fire to make it pure thus my life is made to pass across bad pahase of it ,only to make it more strong and rich.And It gave me immense satisfaction to think that God gives these so-called bad days because He loves us, He actually want us to go through the rough & tough road only to make us pure . He want us to lean toward Him and know the truth of life.
The Holy mother says, whenever you are in trouble distress , just say to yourself " I have a mother". Just murmering this sentence "I have a mother to take care of everything" boost my innerself. Our mind is like a mad elephant , it rushes with the wind . and whenver I feel my mind stirred by undesirable thoughts and yet I want to calm myself , I pray to Him earnestly . He purifies the then disturbed mind and solve my doubts. It happens with me very often .
I stay in a joint family and thus has to adjust with minor discontenment frequently , though some times I see fault in others but then again a preaching of the Holy mother makes me feel ease with the situation. She says when our mind is stale then only we keep on fining faults with others and first result of this is our own mind gets polluted. When does anyone become happy with finding faults with others ? It only results is creating lots of unpleasant stories at the back of our mind.And thus to regain peace of mind I gave up fault -finding , surely I will not deny with the fact that this inbuild habit of human being keeps on peeping time and gain.
Learning from the preaching of holy people is an experience in itself and it is very sad enough to acknowledge that it often happen when we cross the tiring moments of life. This is a process in it-self. A learning process.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Back To THOSE DAYS!
Today, when i got up from sleep I was pretty sure that I will do some of my degree course study as I received some of the course material on Saturday and could not open a page of the same due to work pressure in home. In this context let me tell you that yesterday was a very busy day, my rina-pisi(the cook) didn't come and I have to be in the kitchen the whole morning and in the evening one fellow was suppose to come to see my sister in law for marriage purpose(who didn't turn up ultimately) so busy with that. Then came a bad news of a couple I know, I mean they were running through very bad phase of their life and me and my hubby dear had to run for a mutual.So the day ended like that.
Thus today when i woke up, in the back of my mind I was continuously calculating which book to o start with. By and by I saw clock running down but no trace of rina pisi. I understood today too I have to act in behalf of Rina-pisi. Hey, why act ? Because my father use to say this world is a "RangaMancha"(PLatform to act) and we all have to enact our own roles in a very nice way, then when our roles gets completed one Supreme Power will just pull the string out and oops you find yourself out of the play suddenly. Anyway I started my day as a KItchen queen (ha..ha ) and was a bit upset as I tought after giving a feed to mistu I will sit with my books.I completed with kitchen at about 9:30 am and then sat for my study.
Believe me I got immence satisfaction to travel to those days when I use to study regularly. It gave a nostalgic feeling all over. Inspite of mistu's intense disturbance and my mother's repeated question that how am I going to carry on my study this way. I completed the days work. And remember a small story at the back of my mind and smiled . "A viewer of a frog race constantly demoralised all the forgs and succeded in his mission but one frog slipped and won the race . Then this viewer asked the tiny frog how he had found the strength to succeed and reach the goal? It turned out....That the winner was DEAF!!!! " The wisdom is "ALWAYS be....POSITIVE! And above all:Be DEAF when people tell YOU that you cannot fulfill your dreams! Always think: I can do this! "
I gave a pat on my back ....
the story continue stilll as you see my son woke up and is crying "ma-yer kache jabo"(this means I will go to my mom..)
Thus today when i woke up, in the back of my mind I was continuously calculating which book to o start with. By and by I saw clock running down but no trace of rina pisi. I understood today too I have to act in behalf of Rina-pisi. Hey, why act ? Because my father use to say this world is a "RangaMancha"(PLatform to act) and we all have to enact our own roles in a very nice way, then when our roles gets completed one Supreme Power will just pull the string out and oops you find yourself out of the play suddenly. Anyway I started my day as a KItchen queen (ha..ha ) and was a bit upset as I tought after giving a feed to mistu I will sit with my books.I completed with kitchen at about 9:30 am and then sat for my study.
Believe me I got immence satisfaction to travel to those days when I use to study regularly. It gave a nostalgic feeling all over. Inspite of mistu's intense disturbance and my mother's repeated question that how am I going to carry on my study this way. I completed the days work. And remember a small story at the back of my mind and smiled . "A viewer of a frog race constantly demoralised all the forgs and succeded in his mission but one frog slipped and won the race . Then this viewer asked the tiny frog how he had found the strength to succeed and reach the goal? It turned out....That the winner was DEAF!!!! " The wisdom is "ALWAYS be....POSITIVE! And above all:Be DEAF when people tell YOU that you cannot fulfill your dreams! Always think: I can do this! "
I gave a pat on my back ....
the story continue stilll as you see my son woke up and is crying "ma-yer kache jabo"(this means I will go to my mom..)
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Cherishable memory
Again 14th February is crawling near and love is on the air. The lovely season makes me remember on of those 14th feb which I like to remember and feel good. Though this day was never very over-rated (as it is now) in my days(I am not very old though) and I never paid any importance to this date/day but still it is special to me in its own way.
I am married to Subhas for 5 years now and still whenever I remember that very special day it gives me immense pleasure . Nothing very eventful happened that day but still that 14th feb is very close to my heart and I cherish it lovingly. Lets go back 8 years and turn on the pages.
I met Subhas for the first time in my way back to home from office, he was sitting beside me as a co-passenger(a stranger) in a Bus. We just shared a smile and a casual talk as our destination was same( I mean the Bus-stoppage- ha ha ). Years passed on and we never met each other in between, it’s very strange that though our bus-stoppage for taking the bus was same but we never seen each other within that span of time. Then one fine , sunny morning I saw this guy coming in the Bus-stand , we recognized each other and exchanged smiles. That’s it. Days passed on and I found this fellow was taking a little bit of extra interest on me but I never paid any heed to that. Now, I agree that I enjoyed that attention ( you know girl’s habit). Within a month came that 14th Feb, I suppose it was 2002 . I was on the way back to home from office and was in a hurry as it was already 9 p.m . When I reached Parkstreet Bus-stand I saw him standing there , I was surprise to see him there. When I asked him , why he was taking bus from parkstreet all of a sudden, he said he came for some work in Chatterjee-International(which was a lie!). Seeing me there he gave a full smile and asked me whether I had some special engagement/ appointments for that day. I didn’t understood why all of a sudden he asked me that question as I was too much a dumb to understand that he wanted to know whether or not I have any special person in my life.
Thereafter his interest on me grew strong and our friendship went tight. Similar tastes, wildly different attitudes. Good recipes for a roller coaster friendship. With time passing by I understood he was waiting for me that day from the evening to know the fact that I am engaged with somebody or not. This sour-sweet feeling I treasure till date and will keep on in the safe corner of my heart till I die.I n this very age of commercialization where cards, expensive gifts , smses and what not dominates the society his expenditure of time, his patient wait touched me that day a lot.
I am married to Subhas for 5 years now and still whenever I remember that very special day it gives me immense pleasure . Nothing very eventful happened that day but still that 14th feb is very close to my heart and I cherish it lovingly. Lets go back 8 years and turn on the pages.
I met Subhas for the first time in my way back to home from office, he was sitting beside me as a co-passenger(a stranger) in a Bus. We just shared a smile and a casual talk as our destination was same( I mean the Bus-stoppage- ha ha ). Years passed on and we never met each other in between, it’s very strange that though our bus-stoppage for taking the bus was same but we never seen each other within that span of time. Then one fine , sunny morning I saw this guy coming in the Bus-stand , we recognized each other and exchanged smiles. That’s it. Days passed on and I found this fellow was taking a little bit of extra interest on me but I never paid any heed to that. Now, I agree that I enjoyed that attention ( you know girl’s habit). Within a month came that 14th Feb, I suppose it was 2002 . I was on the way back to home from office and was in a hurry as it was already 9 p.m . When I reached Parkstreet Bus-stand I saw him standing there , I was surprise to see him there. When I asked him , why he was taking bus from parkstreet all of a sudden, he said he came for some work in Chatterjee-International(which was a lie!). Seeing me there he gave a full smile and asked me whether I had some special engagement/ appointments for that day. I didn’t understood why all of a sudden he asked me that question as I was too much a dumb to understand that he wanted to know whether or not I have any special person in my life.
Thereafter his interest on me grew strong and our friendship went tight. Similar tastes, wildly different attitudes. Good recipes for a roller coaster friendship. With time passing by I understood he was waiting for me that day from the evening to know the fact that I am engaged with somebody or not. This sour-sweet feeling I treasure till date and will keep on in the safe corner of my heart till I die.I n this very age of commercialization where cards, expensive gifts , smses and what not dominates the society his expenditure of time, his patient wait touched me that day a lot.
SUN,WAVES,FUN=DIGHA
This is the punch line of on of the Big Hotel in Digha, a well known tourist spot in West Bengal, gracefully guarded by Bay of Bengal . Why I am talking of Digha is because of my very recent visit to the place. An unexpected, unplanned visit, which makes it more special. The punch line goes well with the beauty of the place . Near to the city(Kolkata) but far from the hustle and bustle of the crowded life makes Digha a very special place for all those who wants to break away the monotony of life for a while. The serene beach , white surf and the glazing sun all makes Digha a wonderful tourist destination. Added to it are the beauty of thousands of small red crabs crawling around the beach of newly explored beaches, like Talseri, Mandarmoni makes it look like simmering field of red flower . The virgin beach is a chic and sophisticated treat to the eyes and the heart.
Mistu enjoyed thoroughly in Talseri as he kept on following those crabs to their hole. He was thrilled with the waves braking at his little feet making him feel so special. Again searching and collecting various shells in the sea –shore was an achievement in-itself. It gives me immense pleasure to pick those shells from the beach and carry the same back to my house, its like bagging a little of nature with me back home.. A little of Digha …..for instance.A bike ride in the vacant-calm beachanda brief conversation with the fishermen , trying hard for 3 consecutive days to pull back their fishing net from the sea was a great experience. An experience that’s meets both leisure and hard practical side of life. It complied me to thank the Almighty to be kind enough gift me a good package of life. Yes a PACKAGE. .
Well, this tour like many more will be safely kept in the locker of memory and will be nurtured time and again .It was a good time and I pray to GOD that this type of good times keep on happening.
Mistu enjoyed thoroughly in Talseri as he kept on following those crabs to their hole. He was thrilled with the waves braking at his little feet making him feel so special. Again searching and collecting various shells in the sea –shore was an achievement in-itself. It gives me immense pleasure to pick those shells from the beach and carry the same back to my house, its like bagging a little of nature with me back home.. A little of Digha …..for instance.A bike ride in the vacant-calm beachanda brief conversation with the fishermen , trying hard for 3 consecutive days to pull back their fishing net from the sea was a great experience. An experience that’s meets both leisure and hard practical side of life. It complied me to thank the Almighty to be kind enough gift me a good package of life. Yes a PACKAGE. .
Well, this tour like many more will be safely kept in the locker of memory and will be nurtured time and again .It was a good time and I pray to GOD that this type of good times keep on happening.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)